Episode7 | Rising Above Childhood Heartaches - Drea de Matteo
We think celebrity life is all about glimmer and glamor. For the audiences, it can be hard to separate the actor from the character. However, behind the Hollywood facade, an actor is a person with real-life experiences. Just like you and me, they also experience childhood heartaches and challenges that could break a person.
In this episode, Drea de Matteo shares how she started her career in Hollywood and why she stayed away from the limelight. She also shares her family background and the childhood experiences that shaped who she is now today. Finally, Drea de Matteo talks about what it’s like to be a single parent and go through emotional and spiritual challenges.
If you want to know how to move forward from your childhood heartaches, this episode with Drea de Matteo is for you!
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Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Discover how being in the limelight was for Drea de Matteo.
Find out how Drea de Matteo continues to resolve her childhood heartaches coming from a dysfunctional family.
What is Drea’s definition of a strong woman?
Resources
Gangster Goddess Broad-cast by Drea de Matteo and Chris Kushner
Along the Road by Robert Browning Hamilton
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Episode Highlights
The Hollywood Curse
In Hollywood, you get typecast when you seek an award for playing a character with a heavy accent.
Drea de Matteo spent a lot of years trying to convince people that she was more than just the accent in her role. Drea De Matteo played an Italian role with a New York accent, and people associated that accent with stupidity. Drea didn’t play by any of the Hollywood rules. At that time, it was about having the right outfit and being on the red carpet.
Her Life as a Celebrity
Drea de Matteo says she knew how to be an actor, but she didn’t know how to be a celebrity.
Certain things make a celebrity’s life easier, but some sacrifice their personal life to have a career.
Although her relationship with her ex-boyfriend ended in a tumultuous breakup, Drea De Matteo never got in the way of his career.
Being Cynical
Drea de Matteo believes in people’s beauty before anything else. De Matteo thinks she’s cynical and not trusting. However, when it comes to astrology, Drea De Matteo finds that she can trust people.
Drea’s in love with the whole human condition and their actions.
Busted & Readjusted
Her podcast is entitled “Gangster Goddess Broad-cast.” They have a segment there called “Busted and Readjusted.”
They do the show through the lens of The Sopranos. They put a whole new spin on the subculture of The Sopranos and mafias.
It tackles both big triumphs and everyday matters.
Drea’s Family Background
Drea de Matteo didn’t feel recognized as a child. Her mother was a fantastic playwright who came from a mafia household. Her grandfather was a heroin wholesaler, and her grandmother was a miserable stay-at-home wife.
Meanwhile, her great-grandmother was also the only abortionist in New York City in the ‘50s. Her mother was a rebel, so they married her off to an Italian man, and she gave birth at 15. With this background, Drea de Matteo carried the wounds of the women in her family.
Drea’s Childhood
Drea de Matteo was raised by their housekeeper, leaving her own daughter to raise Drea. Because of that, the housekeeper’s daughter developed issues with Drea. Drea believes we make contracts before coming to Earth. Everything that happens is part of the “Master Plan.”
She hated her childhood’s bizarre path.
Her Relationship with Her Mom
Because her mom wasn’t able to take care of her as a child, Drea de Matteo had issues with homework and school. She also developed anxiety. Her mom took responsibility for that later on, although Drea is still working on letting go.
She never thought of her childhood as different from anyone else, but De Matteo knew she was born with childhood heartaches. Drea lived in an Italian neighborhood where all moms stayed home cooking dinner, but her mother wasn't like that.
Her Fuel to Becoming an Actor
Drea de Matteo became an actor because it was the only thing her mother couldn’t do for her. She grew up playing house in the theater where her mom was at. Drea got out of The Sopranos real quick; she didn’t want to do it again. Instead, De Matteo focused on helping her boyfriend build his career.
Drea was planning to focus on herself and on her children before the quarantine hit.
Drea’s Definition of a Strong Woman
Drea doesn't have a clear definition of what a strong woman is.
In the early 40s, you change your mind about what you want to do, where you want to be, and what's important.
At 50, Drea wants to walk down that mountain without drama. De Matteo believes she doesn't need to forgive you as long as you can forgive yourself.
Losing a Family
Drea de Matteo and her ex-boyfriend broke up the same year her dad died.
It was heartbreaking for her because she wanted to recreate the right family for her kids.
Looking back, Drea thought she always needed to have a partner.
When her mom started taking responsibility, that's when Drea began getting sober at 21. Drea wished she had put less focus on drugs and the men in his life. But her experiences made her who she is today.
Being a Single Parent
Drea’s trying to learn and figure things out together with her kids.
She has a weird spirituality where Drea believes in everyone.
Drea shares a poem entitled “Along the Road” by Robert Browning Hamilton.
Feeling Empowered
Drea likes to keep herself safe in a very quiet life.
She feels the most empowered when Drea can help somebody.
Drea also feels empowered by being aware that she knows nothing and putting a lot of things behind her.
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
“I knew how to be an actor; I didn't know how to be a celebrity.”
“Whatever fucking power is out there is great enough to replenish you, no matter how much you give to somebody else.”
“If we don't forgive other people, then we're really not forgiving ourselves.”
“I don't know what I'm doing. I've never had a 12-year-old child before. I've never had a 12-year-old daughter before. So every day is a new day.”
“If you can keep an open mind about what's going on here, you can see everything as an opportunity to grow.”
About Drea De Matteo
Drea de Matteo is an Emmy Award-winning American actress known for her role in The Sopranos. Currently, Drea is co-hosting the podcast, Gangster Goddess Broad-Cast.
You can reach Drea through her Instagram.
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