Episode 9 | Living Life on Life’s Terms with Elizabeth Gilbert (Part 1)
Wisdom and success are conventional gauges of a person’s maturity. These milestones are products of continuous hard work and the painful setbacks we overcome. We need to allow life to happen on life’s terms without forcing our will on it.
In this episode, best-selling author Elizabeth Gilbert shares insights on gaining wisdom in this modern culture. She also tells us about the inspirational women who helped form her values and principles. Finally, she shares her definition of empowerment and how we can channel it in our daily lives.
If you want to learn how to honor life's terms, this podcast is for you!
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Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Discover how to navigate life’s terms with wisdom learned from your past experiences and relationships.
Find out what inspiration and success mean for Elizabeth.
Learn how to empower yourself through accountability and self-sufficiency.
Resources
Wired for Story: The Writer's Guide to Using Brain Science to Hook Readers from the Very First Sentence by Lisa Cron
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Episode Highlights
On Wisdom
For Elizabeth, wisdom is the gentlest path through life on life’s terms. The wisest and calmest people she knows are those who live in the least amount of resistance to the will of life.
Every time she has tried to insert her will, ego, instant gratification, unfettered desires, anger, or resentment, life corrects her. These bring painful and profound experiences where wisdom emerges.
There are three kinds of people: those who never learn, those who become wise over time because they learn from their mistakes, and those who are smart enough to learn from other people’s mistakes.
There isn’t a lot of wisdom in an entitled culture where people believe they can have anything they want as long as they fight or work hard enough. An important strand of wisdom recognizes that it's not true.
The Art of Patience
We are in a social and cultural state where we want things to happen quickly.
Allow whatever is happening to evolve without any force of your will and accept things as they are. It is more comfortable to go through life than being in a forcible state.
You have to put in work and devotion to achieve lasting serenity and peace.
A Mother’s Wisdom
As children, we see our parents as gods and take their words as gospel. However, in reality, not all lessons fit Elizabeth’s life or her values.
Her mother taught her to be accountable and self-sufficient. It’s not the responsibility of the world to take care of her.
However, Elizabeth’s mother also taught her there is nothing more honorable that a woman can be than a wife and mother. This wisdom did not work for Elizabeth as she felt uncomfortable over the thought of marriage and having children.
The process of wisdom is a process of selectively curating and unlearning. However, it does not mean entirely dismissing a person and everything they've had to offer.
On Inspiration & Inspirational Women
For Elizabeth, inspiration is to breathe into someone. To expire is to die with the last breath, and to inspire is to inhale. There's a transmission level where you breathe in from somebody what they have already gotten for you.
She is inspired by women who have chosen an unconventional path, including Mary Ellen Mark. The successful documentary photographer’s ambivalence on marriage and children comforted Elizabeth, who was then struggling over whether she had to be a mother.
Martha Beck made Elizabeth feel liberated, teaching her things are possible as long as she follows her intuition.
She also met a nun running Project Home—a non-profit organization that helps homeless people in Philadelphia—who followed her path and did what she wanted.
Elizabeth’s Daily Ritual
Elizabeth writes to herself every day. It stabilizes her and serves as an ongoing dialogue between her and love.
On Success
For Elizabeth, success is a mind that is comfortable in its own presence.
The voice in your head determines the quality of your life.
The cruelest voice in your head is the one that lacks love. Let it be the first to be loved.
We expect successful people to have everything figured out. For example, a yoga teacher must be enlightened and not have meltdowns. However, it's unfair to hold people to this ideal.
On Empowerment
For Elizabeth, empowerment is emotional autonomy. It is learning to be responsible for yourself.
Elizabeth always tells her younger versions all the things she has always wanted somebody else to say, such “I can take better care of you. You are my priority.”
She can hold her heart in her hands lovingly, gently, and kindly, allowing her to handle any change the world gives her.
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
“The incredible, all-transforming, maturing power of being able to step away from something that doesn’t want to happen next rather than bashing yourself with trying to make it occur—that is also wisdom.”
“We're not all in the same boat, but we're all in the same storm.”
“The quality of your life is going to be only 100% determined by the voice in your head that speaks to you.”
“The terrorist who lives in your head, if you're bringing that with you along your entire journey of what our culture conventionally calls success, then you're just going to have a really painful relationship with yourself in a much nicer house.”
“Can you be as nice to yourself as you would be to a random stranger?”
About Elizabeth
Elizabeth Gilbert is best known for her best-selling memoir Eat Pray Love, chronicling her journey across three cultures as she moves on from a difficult divorce. The book sold millions of copies worldwide and was made into a film in 2010. Time Magazine named Elizabeth one of the 100 most influential people in the world for her work.
Other works she authored include Pilgrims, Stern Men, The Last American Man, Committed, The Signature of All Things, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, and her latest novel, City of Girls.
Elizabeth divides her time between New York City, rural New Jersey, and everywhere else.
Visit Elizabeth's website to learn more about her works. You can also reach her through Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
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To inspiring success and empowerment,
Rosie