A Safe Space from Fear and Judgment with Candice Kumai

Have you stumbled on your journey, burdened by mistakes? Battled addiction or dealt with negative influences that led you astray? Imagine a safe space from toxic relationships. Imagine freeing yourself from unfulfilling jobs and harmful friendships like a tree shedding leaves. You can let go of the past and make room for personal growth.

The world is full of judgment and criticism. It's time to unburden ourselves from the weight of societal expectations. This episode features a soul-stirring conversation with the incredible Candice Kumai. She shares insights on embracing a carefree mindset and discovering happiness in life's little joys. Say no to negativity and surround yourself with the love and support of genuine friends.

Tune in as we unlock the secrets to building a life of authenticity, fulfillment, and personal flourishing.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Understand the importance of finding safe spaces and supportive relationships.

  2. Find out how letting go of fear and judgment can lead to personal growth.

  3. Learn to discern between misinformation and real expertise.

Resources

Episode Highlights

[02:58] The Power of Manifestation

[03:25] “I suppose, without even thinking about it, that manifestation is a real thing.” - Click Here to Tweet This

  • Candice values wellness and spirituality. But cooking and food are undeniably central to her life.

  • She aims to embrace her culinary roots. Candice enjoys multicultural foods, particularly the uniqueness of Japanese cuisine.

  • Candice is an Iron Chef alumna and worked with chefs like Bobby Flay. She's also been a magazine editor and authored of seven books.

  • Candice decided to return to her true passion: food and cooking.

[05:27] Belonging and Past Childhood Trauma

[06:43] “A lot of the stories in the book are related to if you're mixed, if you're an immigrant, if you feel like you just don't belong.” - Click Here to Tweet This

  • In Spirited, Candice wrote about uncomfortable territory.

  • Her parents were immigrants from Poland and Japan.

  • The book explores themes of identity, belonging, and the impact of childhood trauma, particularly for those who feel like outsiders.

  • She recognizes the vulnerability in sharing her pain and asks readers to approach her story with empathy.

  • Through her own experiences, she invites readers to consider how their ancestors’ lives may influence their present. 

[10:47] Creating a Safe Space in Your Environment

  • Each aspect of our lives has a place in time, and we must determine what is worth revisiting.

  • Judging someone’s pain and suffering based on surface-level understanding is unfair, as authors often choose what parts of their lives to share.

  • The current climate of judgment and self-righteousness stifles artists’ creativity and potential, making them fear being judged for their work.

  • Despite the dynamics in our families, finding a safe space with loved ones who accept us without judgment is essential.

  • The wellness industry needs an overhaul and a return to love, understanding, empathy, and kindness. 

[17:28] The Right Fit Will Come Along

  • As we grow older, we learn to detach emotionally from upsetting situations and let them pass like fleeting clouds.

[18:52] “Why even think about the future? Because you actually have zero control over what is going to happen … so most of us, like, sit in our suffering that was based off of our past and we so deeply are afraid of things in the future.” - Click Here to Tweet This

  • Candice admits her initial resistance to sharing her dark side. She had to confront issues such as alcohol abuse, serial dating, and a dependence on external validation, acknowledging the extra effort required as a minority woman.

  • Imperfection is universal. People encounter struggles and addictions.

  • Through therapy and the support of friends, she gained insights into making healthier choices, such as pursuing relationships with emotionally stable partners.

[24:18] Overcoming Fear and Judgment

[25:03] “I think everybody should do what makes them feel good.” - Click Here to Tweet This

  • Adopting a carefree mindset, Candice now finds delight in simple pleasures like caring for cats, free from the burden of judgment.

  • She longs for life to be as simple as finding happiness in the things that truly fulfill a person.

[26:11] “When you find your life's purpose in your community, you will thrive.” - Click Here to Tweet This

  • Sometimes, your calling is right in front of you.

  • You might've been pushing it away because of past traumas, fears, and the thoughts and judgments of others.

[29:10] Why You Got Started in the First Place

  • When we ask too much of ourselves, we can get lost in the shuffle.

  • Revert to why you got started in the first place.

  • Women can pursue paths that nourish their souls, such as practicing yoga, meditation, cooking, or indulging in simple pleasures like smoothies and cocktails.

  • No matter what one does, there will always be judgment and criticism.

  • Focus on personal fulfillment and not worry excessively about the future.

[37:44] Trees Shedding Leaves

  • The power of having genuine supporters, like Candice’s enduring friendship with Rosie, cannot be understated.

  • Letting go of friendships, jobs, or toxic people, much like how trees shed their leaves, is essential to personal growth and fostering a positive environment.

  • Our lives can be easier if we take that step to move forward without fearing what others think.

[39:58] A Journey Both Beautiful and Awful

  • Thriving in unstable circumstances requires resilience, the ability to embrace change, and a supportive network.

  • Choose your friends wisely. They should be a safe space for you.

  • Let go of people if they are not positively serving you.

[43:12] The Real Experts

  • Today, there are many self-proclaimed experts, especially on social media.

  • Misinformation is prevalent in various domains, including matcha, finance, and spirituality.

  • There’s so much to learn about the ancestral people and soil that contribute to the practice of matcha.

  • Candice highlights the expertise of Japanese tea farmers and monks who possess deep knowledge in their respective fields, contrasting it with the trend of self-proclaimed experts on social media platforms.

  • Do thorough research and seek credible sources of information, especially in spirituality.

[50:30] How Candice Feels Radically Loved

  • Candice reflects on her relationship with her mother and how their Japanese cultural background influenced it.

  • She explains that her mother didn't communicate her love through phrases like “I love you.” Her mother's actions spoke volumes.

  • She found a sense of radical love through her pets, particularly her cats.

  • They were a source of connection and nonjudgmental affection, a safe space amidst chaos.

  • She encourages gratitude for the love and companionship that pets offer.

About Candice

Candice Kumai is dubbed the "Golden Girl of Wellness" by both Elle and Forbes. She has made her mark in various industries as a 12-time award-winning writer, classically trained chef, former line cook, TV host, and former model turned journalist. Her prowess as a writer is evident in her six best-selling books, including her latest release, Spirited. It aims to unveil the path to discovering greater fulfillment and tranquility in our fast-paced modern lives.

Based in New York City, Candice has held prestigious positions such as the former Food Editor-at-Large at Shape and Men's Fitness, as well as being a columnist for Men's Health and Women's Health magazines. Don't forget to subscribe to her highly-ranked podcast, Wabi Sabi, for weekly insights. Stay connected by visiting her website and following her on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and Youtube.

Enjoy the Podcast?

If you felt radically loved from listening to this podcast, subscribe and share it with the people you love! The world is full of harshness, and it's normal to stumble occasionally. Find a safe space for yourself or be that safe space for someone else.

Love to give us 5 stars? If you do, we'd love a review from you. Help us reach more people and make them feel loved.

Know someone who suffers from the toxicity of negative people? Don’t live in darkness. Your life’s purpose can be found within your passions and connections, so embrace the power of manifestation, let go of fear and judgment, and discover the radical love that surrounds you. A simple way to give advice is to share what you’ve learned today on social media.

Don’t forget to follow and message us on these platforms!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/radicallylovedrosie/  

Twitter: https://twitter.com/rosieacosta 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosieacosta 

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsrosieacosta

Thanks for listening! 

To feeling radically loved,

Rosie

Rosie AcostaAuthor, Mexican American Author, health and wellness, Wellness Coach, bipoc meditation teacher