Understanding Life Attachment: The Art of Attaching and Detaching

Imagine a life where you're not attached to anything. Not a career, relationship, goals, possessions—nothing. It's almost impossible to picture a life without any attachment to these things. But because the human experience is always under constant change, is attachment then only needless suffering? Not when you're able to identify which parts of your life are serving your highest good and which are not. The key is to utilize the power of the mind.

In today's episode of Wisdom Wednesday, Tessa Tovar and Rosie talk about the nature of attachment in the human journey. Attachment relates to all our other characteristics, including our dreams, desires, doubts, and worries. Rosie emphasizes that we have the power to channel our energy into what serves our highest good. They also remind us that part of our spiritual journey as human beings is the essence of acceptance and giving.

If you want to know how to navigate different attachments in your life’s journey, this episode is for you!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Discover human beings’ nature of attachment.

  2. Find out why it’s critical to go after what serves your highest good.

  1. Learn the power of acceptance and giving in the human journey.

Resources

  • Order Rosie’s book, You are Radically Loved

  • Book your ticket for the You Are Radically Loved Retreat happening in Malaga, Spain, from November 12 to 18, 2022!

Episode Highlights

[00:51] Ina Well Fest in Guam

  • Rosie just came back from Guam for the Ina Well Fest.

  • Livia Marati is the conceptualizer and innovative mind behind the Ina Well Fest.

  • Guam is a beautiful, idyllic place. But they don't have much agricultural sustenance, so they rely on imports of highly preservative-laden foods.

  • Ina Well Fest aims to bring more health, wellness, and mental health awareness to the people residing on the island.

  • The experience helped Rosie grapple more with the world we’re living in.

[04:14] The Nature of Attachment

  • We get attached to many things as human beings—our status quo, level of comfort, income, partnership, career, etc.

  • The fabric of our lives and the human experience is constantly changing. Is attachment then needless suffering, or is there a purpose behind it?

[05:34] Navigating Attachment

  • The Buddhists believed that attachment is the key source of our suffering. It's hard to be unattached and live in a state where you feel like you're going with the flow of life.

  • Attachment relates to all other characteristics we’re capable of doing. The mind is capable of having beautiful ideas and also doubts and worries.

  • Utilizing the mind in areas that will serve us where we can cultivate peace, ease, and acceptance. It’s the opposite of attachment.

  • Having a deep and wholehearted expression for mindful living is vital in navigating internal emotions relating to our attachments.

  • Mindfulness is our ability to grapple, be present, and examine which parts of our lives are working or not.

[7:25] Rosie: “If we're able to utilize the mind in a way to direct it to go to the areas that are going to serve us most, I think it is really where we can cultivate more of that peace and ease and acceptance.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[08:47] Going After What Serves Your Highest Good

  • For Rosie, it always reverts back to what is going to serve your highest good.

  • There’s a difference between wanting to do your duty as a human being and just dwelling and worrying about negative things.

  • Some people use worry as a fueling agent to incite change. However, it doesn’t apply to everyone.

  • Having the thought route of going into a fight, flight, or freeze state is not going to serve your highest good.

  • Your thought process should be learning ways to impact the world through different choices that will make you feel you’re moving the needle.

[11:56] Embracing What Serves Your Highest Good

  • We often forget that we have the power and control to channel our energy into places they need to go that will serve us best.

  • The problem is that we don't have an acute awareness of what serves our highest good because we're desensitized to having power.

  • Passivity and indifference result in that desensitized sense of being powerless. 

  • Your opposition is the opposite of your potential. It’s the part of you that says you don’t matter.

[11:56] Rosie: “Because at the end of the day, that's what we're doing here. If you're not moving your life forward in a way that's serving your highest good then what are you doing?” - Click Here to Tweet This

[14:08] Fulfilling Your Dharma

  • We may not love what our purpose is, but we are ever compelled to fulfill that duty one way or another.

  • We might be mistaking the feeling of love for the comfort of numbness. It goes back to the idea of attachment.

  • Growing to your fullest expression and becoming self-actualized is uncomfortable.

[15:01] Rosie: “We may not like or love what our Dharma has been or what our path is, like maybe we don't love what our purpose is, but it's our purpose—and we are compelled to fulfill that duty one way or another.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[16:49] Loving Your Journey

  • The idea behind Aikido is taking the energy of someone coming at you and defusing and pushing it away from you.

  • Tessa's Aikido teacher gave a phrase to her that she always thinks about when faced with discomfort on her journey. Tune in to the episode to hear more about this!

  • One of the key indicators for Tessa is whether the path she’s on feels expansive. It’s critical to slow down and tune in to yourself to navigate these challenging times.

  • Part of our spiritual journey and journey as humans is the essence of acceptance.

  • The instant the fish accept they will never have arms, they grow fins. Listen to the full episode to hear more about this message from Mark Nepo's The Book of Awakening!

[17:49] Tessa: “When we walk to the edge of all the light that we can see, and we take the decision to make that leap into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen—we’ll learn to fly or there will be something solid for us to stand on.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[21:53] The Beauty and Power of Giving

  • Tessa always thinks about things that inspire and give her solace every Wisdom Wednesday recording.

  • She recommends the book The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.

  • The Prophet talks about giving in terms of resources, time, attention, possession, and more.

  • It is when you give of yourself with joy and no hidden desire that you truly give. Listen to the episode to hear sections from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet!

  • With regard to giving ourselves support, the best we can do is to take care of ourselves and others as much as we can.

About Tessa

Tessa Tovar is a health coach from the International Institute of Nutrition. She specializes in bio-individuality, which focuses on an individual’s specific needs to reach optimal whole-body health. She is also a well-practiced yogi, with 500 hours of accredited teaching certifications in Vinyasa, Nidra, Restorative, Reiki Level I&II, Pranayama, and guided meditation. 

Tessa is also the founder of the Outside the Studio podcast and has her own YouTube Channel where she hosts and shares all her insights and learnings. In her newsletter, Nutrition for Seasons, she shares yoga tips, healthy recipes, and more. She is also a published writer and has authored The Dark Moon: A Book of Poetry for Savasana.

If you want to connect with Tessa, visit her website. You can also go to the Verywell Fit website to know more.

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To feeling radically loved,

Rosie

Rosie AcostaLatinx, teacher, meditation teacher, Mexican American Teacher, First Gen Mexican American, BIPOC Meditation Teacher, Mindfulness Teacher, bipoc meditation teacher, Hispanic Meditation Teacher, Mexican American Author, mexican american teacher