Stepping Outside the Box and Creating Your Life Path with Selema Masekela

What parts of your identity can you say is 100% you? It’s hard to admit it, but our perception of reality is perpetually skewed. Our actions, decisions, and outlook on different matters, whether important or trifling, depend heavily on things like our lived experiences, the people around us, and social constructs. This is where the power of a spiritual experience comes in. A life-changing spiritual experience will allow you to step out of the box that limits you and create a life path you can call your own.

In this episode of Radically Loved, Rosie speaks with Selema Masekela about spirituality, vulnerability, and creating your life path. Selema shares his background as a first-generation African-American and how it impacted his spiritual exploration. He imparts how therapy changed his life after going through immense depression and anxiety. Finally, Selema talks about our ability to create our own paths through self-belief and trust.

If you want to create your own life path toward the life you want, this episode is for you!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

Discover the spiritual experience of surfing and being in the ocean.
Understand why real power and strength lie in vulnerability.
Learn how and why therapy can change your life and perspective.

Resources

Connect with and learn more about Selema Masekela: Website | Instagram | Twitter
What Shapes Us Podcast with Selema Masekela
Summer of Soul (2021)
West Side Story (2021)
Mami Wata
Mami Wata (1975) by Hugh Masekela
Flamingo (2020)
Stoked Mentoring
Burton Snowboards

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Episode Highlights

[01:28] Selema’s Background

Selema is a first-generation American. His mother was from Haiti, while his father was a political exile from the racist apartheid regime of South Africa.
His father found his way through America as a musician and an activist. Meanwhile, Selema’s mother worked as a holistic health practitioner.
His mom remarried a Puerto Rican with a whole another influence of culture. They moved to the coastal town of Carlsbad in South California when he was 16.
Selema became friends with the Mexicans in his high school and got into the surf culture. As a B-boy, he saw it as dancing in water.
The first time he stood on a surfboard was a spiritual experience. It changed his life.

[01:53] Selema: “The darkest energy has the best publicists, and in turn, the things that we amplify end up being more contagious.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[10:31] Connecting with the Ocean

The ocean is healing. It’s a place where you can simply be and leave behind everything happening on land.
It was an escape from his family life during that coming-of-age period.
Selema says he is a recovering Jehovah’s Witness.
He had a very strict upbringing. Things like yoga and meditation were seen as a form of welcoming the devil.

[12:17] Exploring His Spirituality

In his early 20s, he was struggling for identity. Selema had to deal with constant microaggressions and outright racism as one of the few black people in town.
The white male patriarchal setup of their church conflicted with his creative side. He started asking questions and figuring out what his dreams were.
He didn’t make the break until he was around 27 because he wanted to please his parents and friend group.
His radical exploration made him spiral into serious depression and anxiety and led to several hospitalizations.

[14:33] Depression and Anxiety

Taking anxiety medication made him so numb and zoned out.
He first tried Japanese acupuncture, introduced to him by his uncle. It was a powerful journey and a deep spiritual reset for him.
Selema stopped living in fear of the attacks and started dealing with its roots, which was his lived trauma.
Your experiences and circumstances don’t have to define you. You can write your own story.
The mindset ingrained, especially for black and brown people, is just to survive. That’s why the idea of experiencing the wholeness of being is a radical concept.

[17:11] Selema: The things that happen to you or the circumstances that you're in or happening around you—that's all energy—that those don't have to be the definition of your being, that you can actually start to write your own story.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[19:29] On Fragile Masculinity and Vulnerability

It’s difficult for men to be open to therapy because there’s this notion that they always have to be strong.
Society has conditioned men in different cultures to think that they should not show emotions, sensitivity, and vulnerability.
Power and strength lie in vulnerability and the ability to be open with who you are.
We’re taught to think like standing together in groups is what strength looks like. But inside, we all feel petrified and unhappy.

[20:03] Selema: "Vulnerability is power. Vulnerability, the ability to be open and be raw with who you are, your good, and your bad—that is where the power lies." - Click Here to Tweet this

[20:35] Going to Therapy

People often associate therapy with the idea that you’re either crazy or rich and white.
Selema almost reached a point where he would have done something bad to himself if he didn’t find a space where he could be vulnerable without judgment.
A friend explained to him the positive power of therapy in their life.
Therapy is not one-size-fits-all. It’s especially challenging to find the right therapist for people of color.
Fortunately, Selema’s experience with his first therapist was powerful.

[22:16] Selema’s Therapy Experience

The most exciting part of his day is going to therapy, seeing where he’s at, and gaining some perspective.
The difference between acquaintances and friends is you should be able to share where you’re at and how you feel with your friends.
We need to allow vulnerability into how we raise our kids and build our communities.
Selema believes we all need therapy. There are various platforms now that have made it more accessible to people.

[24:35] It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Figured Out

No one in the world has everything figured out. Anybody who tells you they do is lying.
We put the responsibility on famous people to entertain us. In that process, we end up dehumanizing them.
We become the judge, jury, and executioner when famous people show fragility.
Listen to the full episode to hear about Selema’s father featuring in the Oscar-winning Best Picture film Summer of Soul!

[28:29] Selema: “The good part about social media is that everybody got a voice. The sad part about social media is that everybody got a voice.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[31:17] What Selema Is Excited About

He’s excited about the launch of his clothing company, Mami Wata. The brand stands for the idea of a surfing or outdoor lifestyle brand through an African lens.
His dad, Hugh Masekela, also released a song called Mami Wata in 1975.
Selema is also an aspiring actor-musician, making music under his alias Alekesam. He was also cast in a recurring role for a series called Flamingo on Apple Plus.
He’s working on his foundation Stoked Mentoring, teaching black and brown kids about life, skateboarding, snowboarding, and surfing.
Selema is the first person of color to sit on the executive board of Burton Snowboards. He’s also still doing work for Red Bull.

[37:04] Create Your Own Path

Many people showed Selema where the possibilities are.
His parents were relentless in ensuring that he has access to these opportunities. Many people inspired and helped him along the way.
He figures out how to get through doors and windows no matter how small the opening is. He will get in as long as he knows he has something to give.
Listen to the full episode to hear about Selema’s parachute analogy!
You can live as wholly as you intend to when you trust what you can give.

[39:55] Selema: “No one has what you have to give. That is an unassailable fact. Trust it.” - Click Here to Tweet This

About Selema

Selema “Sal” Masekela is a television host, sports commentator, journalist, producer, and musician. He is best credited for NBC's Red Bull Signature Series and for hosting ESPN's Summer and Winter X Games. He is the founder of Stoked Mentoring, a nonprofit foundation dedicated to guiding at-risk youth through various action sports.

Selema is a supporter of the Surfrider Foundation and Life Rolls On. He is also one of the advisory boards of The Lunchbox Fund and The Skatepark Project. Presently, Selema also hosts the What Shapes Us Podcast.

If you want to connect with Selema, visit his website, Instagram, and Twitter.