How To Create Your Ideal Love Relationship With Gary John Bishop

In this episode, they discuss why relationships don’t grow and how we can take ownership of change. We often forget that being in a relationship is being with another person — it’s not just about you and your wants!

We all want to have a happy and fulfilling love relationship. However, we all know it’s not always sunshine and rainbows when it comes to matters of the heart. From talk shows and relationship books to social media influencers, we never run out of relationship advice to hear and give. But how is it that so many people are still miserable?

It’s easy to think about our wants and needs, but is there growth in your relationship? Maybe it’s time to take a step back and reflect on how we truly view love and our partner.

In this episode, Gary and Rosie discuss why relationships don’t grow and how we can take ownership of change. We often forget that being in a relationship is being with another person — it’s not just about you and your wants! Gary Bishop shares how you can change your mindset to build not only your ideal relationship but also learn and grow individually. 

Don’t miss this episode and learn how you can finally create the ideal love relationship you want with Gary Bishop!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: 

  1. Learn how we often view relationships and our tendency to think in terms of past experiences without being fully in the present with Gary John Bishop.

  2. Understand that the purpose of relationships is not to fix our problems.

  3. Discover how you can create a better relationship by truly connecting with your partner.

Resources

    Episode Highlights : Gary John Bishop

    [02:26] About Love Unfucked

    • Relationships are not exclusive to romantic love. You have a relationship with yourself and even with your ex-partners. 

    • The pandemic has impacted our lives and relationships. Gary John Bishop wrote the book hoping to help people stay grounded.

    • People tend to separate themselves instead of fully committing to cultivating relationships.

    [06:58] How Exes Play a Role in Your Current Relationships 

    • People often come out of relationships thinking about what to avoid in their next relationship.

    • We keep focusing on what it should not be, instead of what it is. 

    • Just let go of preconceived notions. - Gary John Bishop

    • You may have past experiences and romanticized notions of relationships, but remember that you don’t know everything about your current partner. 

    • If you limit yourself to thinking that you know everything about them, you leave no space for growth.

    [09:27] “Let go with the idea that you know what you're doing.” - Click Here to Tweet This

    [11:10] Why Relationships Don’t Grow

    • We treat ourselves with compassion and an understanding that we have a lot of potentia. However, this mindset rarely extends to others.

    • Relationships need growth and new thinking. Without these, we are left with default participation and people doing their own thing. - Gary John Bishop

    • Relationships are not simply about getting along.

    [15:16] Don’t Wait, Take Action

    • Gary John Bishop says if you only focus on yourself in a relationship, you’ll never get what you want and need. 

    • There are many dysfunctional and broken relationships where one or two people have no interest in creating something new. 

    • Ultimately, relationships are a choice. You can choose to commit fully or end it. - Gary John Bishop

    • Gary John Bishop says don’t just wait for something to change; you need to take action.

    [16:08] “If you spend your relationship focusing on your needs and your wants, you'll never get what you need and you'll never get what you want. It won't happen.” - Click Here to Tweet This

    [18:01] The Ideal Love Relationship

    • Ideal relationships are often said to be built on communication and never going to bed angry. 

    • Gary John Bishop believes healthy arguments can be helpful for relationships. 

    • Don’t chase after a stereotypical media ideal of what a relationship should and should not look like - Gary John Bishop

    [20:34] How to Overcome Resentment in Relationships 

    • There are dysfunctional relationships where anything people say can trigger so much anger and argument. 

    • Gary John Bishop recommends overcoming this resentment like how you would deal with an addiction. You need to stop getting used to it. 

    • It’s often a game of domination. People don’t display this with shouting only, some use silence to dominate others. - Gary John Bishop

    • Remember that these behaviors are not necessarily character flaws. Rather, they’re just part of being human. 

    [27:02] The Difference Between Connection and Engagement

    • You can engage with people without ever connecting with them. We rarely make the effort to understand others. 

    • There are people who get into relationships to have someone take care of them. - Gary John Bishop

    • At some point in the relationship, the things you’re pretending or hiding will surface. 

    • When ugly behaviors come up, we have the responsibility to work through them.

    [27:34] “You can engage in a conversation without overly connecting. A lot of what doesn't work in relationships is we're not taking the time to get what's going on across the table.” - Click Here to Tweet This

    [31:42] Looking at Relationships

    • Gary John Bishop mentioned the more you focus on how the other person is wrong, the more you avoid looking at how you’re wrong. This distracts you from personal growth. 

    • Your relationship is not meant to fix or complete you. It’s just a place where you can explore who you are with another person. 

    • Not all relationships need to work. It’s okay. - Gary John Bishop

    • Don’t just wait for things to happen. You need to be fully committed to exploring and expressing yourself.

    [33:42] “Your relationship is not supposed to fix you. Your relationship is supposed to be a place where you can explore being you with another. That's it.” - Click Here to Tweet This

    [36:26] Gary John Bishop’s Writing Process

    • Gary John Bishop writes from a philosophy that he applies to his own relationship. 

    • When his relationship is not going well, Gary would reflect on himself first. 

    • Free yourself from expecting others to be a certain way.

    • We are all continuously learning. - Gary John Bishop

    • Gary John Bishop writes with authenticity to how he really is. This helps people connect with his writing. 

    [34:55] “Your relationship should be fully committed. fully authentic, and fully about what you're about.” - Click Here to Tweet This

    About Gary John Bishop

    Gary John Bishop is a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and urban philosopher. Gary John Bishop has written several books including Unfuck Yourself: Get Out Of Your Head and Into Your Life, Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back, Wise as Fu*k: Simple Truths to Guide You Through the Sh*tstorms of Life, and Do the Work: The Official Unrepentant, Ass-Kicking, No Kidding, Change-Your-Life Sidekick to Unfu*k Yourself. Gary John Bishop is back with his latest book, Love Unfu*ked: Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together. 

    Gary John Bishop is a leading personal development expert and his urban philosophy approach led to a new wave of personal empowerment and improvement, helping people worldwide find their own greatness. Gary John Bishop’s writing is simple but true. Gary stays realistic and grounded and is always willing to say what needs to be said.

    Want to learn more about Gary John Bishop’s work? Check out his website. 

    You can also connect with Gary John Bishop on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter.    

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    Thanks for listening! 

    To feeling radically loved,

    Rosie

    Rosie AcostaAuthor, Mexican American Author, Speaker, Motivation Speaker, Latinx