Understand Emotions and the Consequences of Transference with Nicky Sciortino

Have you ever been mad at someone who hadn’t done anything to you? Or perhaps felt that someone was upset at you for no reason? Everyone handles negative emotions differently — some people respond with forgiveness and mindfulness. However, sometimes we hold those negative emotions inside us. If we don’t understand emotions, we pass them onto others and get angry at people who don’t deserve it. This phenomenon is called transference.

In this episode, Nicky Sciortino discusses transference and its significance in our lives. She also encourages us to examine our emotions and acknowledge if we have committed transference before. Accepting ourselves is only half of the battle. Nicky guides us into finding solutions to avoid redirecting our negative emotions and feelings to others.

If you want to understand emotions, and reconnect with your authentic self, stay tuned to this episode! 

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Discover the meaning of transference.

  2. Uncover ways to avoid redirecting our negative emotions to others.

  3. Learn why it helps to understand emotions and find our authentic selves.

Resources

    Episode Highlights

    Nicky, an Avid Listener of Radically Loved

    • Nicky incorporated the lessons she learned on the Radically Loved podcast in her yoga classes.

    • She loved listening to the podcast, especially during the pandemic, where she couldn't talk to her friends as much.  

    • Listening to the show was like getting to have girl talk with her friends. 

    About Transference 

    • Transference refers to redirecting the feelings you have from one person to another individual. 

    • You know you’re on the receiving end because you can’t find a reasonable explanation for the other person’s behavior. 

    • Nicky experienced transference when she joined a yoga class led by an upset instructor. Tune in to the full episode to hear the story!

    • Nicky went back to what she learned from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements. One of these lessons is don't take anything personally. 

    • Projecting is different from transference. It refers to attributing your negative emotions and qualities to another person.

    Nicky’s Experience of Committing Transference 

    • Nicky had a student who kept getting under her skin. She can't figure out why. 

    • After Nicky's yoga class, a student roughly 30 years her senior would frequently ask her basic questions about the class, or for personal advice.

    • Instead of reacting negatively, Nicky took the time to examine herself and understand emotions.

    • She realized she redirected the negative feelings she had with her abusive mother to her student. 

    • When you lash out at someone, you're expressing your pent-up negative emotions. It’s your responsibility to understand why you react the way you do.  

    Not Everyone Can Be a Teacher 

    • People practice yoga to feel nourished, filled, and connected to their bodies and community. It's not a space to be criticized or dismissed. 

    • Yoga teachers wield a lot of power and influence. Therefore, they carry a lot of responsibility.

    • We should focus on quality instead of the number of yoga instructors. 

    • Yoga teachers must actively pursue their yogic path to teach a more profound type of practice. 

    Understand Emotions, Be Aware of Transference 

    • The topic of transference reminded Tessa of Ram Dass’s quote: "I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion—and where it isn't, that's where my work lies.”

    • Examining ourselves if we committed transference is difficult and scary because it makes us vulnerable. 

    • Yoga teachers should be aware when they redirect negative emotions to others. 

    • Many tools can help you avoid transference. Peel back the layers of the onion, understand emotions, and scrub yourself!

    • When you’re a recipient of transference, remember that it’s the other person’s issue and not yours. 

    Continue Reflecting on Ourselves

    • It's crucial to continue examining ourselves and help others do the same. Take accountability and invite in that compassion and self-study all at once.

    • There may not be a pot at the end of the rainbow, but it’s beautiful to see ourselves evolve through time. 

    • Working on ourselves allows us to live an authentic life. 

    • In unraveling our embedded thoughts and beliefs, we become fully present.

    5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode

    [13:35] “...we're all works in progress. We all make mistakes — and how do you learn from it?” 


    [21:43] “When you're able to take care of your own demons, they don't become triggers anymore.” 


    [22:34] “Whenever somebody makes you angry, remember that they're an empty boat. That anger exists inside of you. It's your job to understand those triggers. It's your job to not be the reactor.”


    [24:42] “If people were more conscious and awake about their own personal experience, we wouldn't have as many unfavorable interactions with other people.” 


    [37:46] “The whole purpose of doing all of this is to unravel all of those embedded thoughts and beliefs and transform them into exactly what is present.”

    About Nicky

    Nicky Sciortino is an author, illustrator, and yoga instructor. She wrote the book Finding Yourself in the World that follows one puzzle piece's journey to find its unique gifts and talents. 

    Nicky first tried yoga to prevent injury as she was training for the marathon. She later fell in love with the practice as it complimented every aspect of her life. It helped her prepare mentally during jiu-jitsu competitions and made her know her body better. 

    She became a Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT) in 2017. Since then, she has taught yoga in different venues, from studios to military bases! Nicky is also passionate about applying sports medicine and yoga philosophy during class to help her students feel mentally and physically better. 

    You can connect with Nicky through Facebook. 

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    To feeling radically loved,

    Rosie

    Rosie Acosta