#WisdomWednesdays: The Art of Giving Compliments to Your Significant Other

Humans need to feel valued and appreciated. When you’re dating someone, it’s also normal to desire validation from your partner — about the smallest things like your OOTD to things like your character and personality. And as wonderful as it is to receive compliments, offering them to others could also improve your relationship with them. Giving compliments communicates the appreciation you have for each other.

In this episode of #WisdomWednesdays, Tessa and Rosie talk about the importance of praise and compliments in keeping a relationship healthy. As they dive into the topic, they also express the difficulty of starting new relationships in this day and age of online dating. Lastly, Tessa shares the best way to respond to compliments.

Don’t miss this episode and learn how you can nurture your relationships further!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: 

  1. Learn what Tessa and Rosie have to say about the difficulties of online dating.

  2. Discover how praise and compliments can help others improve and learn better.

  3. Don’t know what to say when you receive a compliment? Find out from Tessa in this episode!

Resources

    Episode Highlights

    Tessa’s Boyfriend

    • Tessa’s boyfriend, Jorge, is terrible at massaging. She describes his hands as “hulk paws.”

    • Although Tessa and her boyfriend are in a happy relationship, sometimes she thinks about him differently — good at cooking and massaging.

    • One common dating problem is thinking that there is somebody better than your partner when there isn’t.

    Tessa and Rosie’s Thoughts on Dating

    • Both Tessa and Rosie have been in a happy relationship for decades. 

    • Tessa finds her boyfriend a great person despite his flaws.

    • While there might be many choices in dating, each relationship has its pros and cons.

    • Rosie has been in a long-term relationship since she was 20 and enjoys hearing stories from friends about their relationships.

    • In the past, dating somebody meant physically meeting up. Nowadays, online communication plays a big part in relationships.

    Online Dating

    • There are pros and cons to online dating. Rosie has seen online relationships bloom and built many friendships online as well.

    • Society’s disembodiment makes it harder to get to know people beyond their pictures. In online dating, attraction becomes largely based on appearance instead of personality.

    • Even in the past, maintaining relationships can be difficult when most prioritize other responsibilities.

    • The COVID pandemic has made it even harder to create and maintain relationships.

    • There is somebody for everybody. Let go of the desperation of finding somebody and the right person will naturally come to you.

    The Effects of Praise

    • Praise activates the reward areas in the brain.

    • Research shows that receiving praise improves skill consolidation. This is a learning process that occurs during sleep.

    • Praise is important not just in the workplace but also in relationships. It’s communication and feedback.

    • Different people react differently to praise. Nonetheless, it’s important for them to hear compliments.

    Receiving and Responding to Praise

    • Sometimes, people choose to reply humbly.

    • For Tessa, a confident response can make her feel insecure about her value in the relationship.

    • When you receive compliments, you can be gracious in accepting the praise by saying “thank you”.

    • People tend to minimize their acceptance of praise. They negate or joke about it to turn away the praise.

    Fishing for Compliments

    • It’s natural for people to want praise.

    • One reason people look for compliments is when they need validation from others.

    • People want to be valued for being as enough as they are.

    • Rosie prefers honesty. When someone is being negative, she would express how harsh they are to themselves.

    • Think about how you can respond equally to both praise and criticism to improve yourself and your mindset.

    5 Powerful Quotes

    [05:43] “We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. There are pros and cons to every relationship. It's not gonna be better, but it'll be different.”


    [11:28] “People that [relationships] can potentially happen with that we just don't know because we are an ocular society. We're just using the external to judge whether or not this person is right for us just by their outward appearance.” 


    [13:03] “For the people that have a desire for companionship, there is somebody out there that's looking for you. There is somebody for everybody... I'm saying the desperation that happens when you're wanting to find somebody so bad. If you release that and let go of that I think you will go into the frequency of attracting that right person for yourself”


    [20:56] “I have the hardest time receiving compliments… [The response] can be gracious and accepting that someone thinks that of you .” 


    [40:51] “It’s like, I want to be valued as enough by just showing up and being here and being me. There's always like this underlying striving to have that reflected back to you when we give everyone else the opportunity to comment on us. Or when we're waiting for someone else to comment on some sort of feature that we have about ourselves that we may or may not feel confident about.” 

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    Thanks for listening! 

    To feeling radically loved,

    Rosie

    Rosie Acosta