Lessons Learned from Grieving a Loss with Henry Ammar

Loss is an inevitable part of life, as is the ensuing grief that follows. However, knowing that it’s coming doesn't mean we're prepared for it when it gets here. When we lose someone important, it throws us off course. It may even lead us to having unhealthy responses to loss, like isolation. These unhealthy responses get us through the pain of grieving a loss, but they numb our feelings and prevent us from finding true healing.

In this episode, Henry Ammar teaches us how to make sense of grieving a loss. Instead of letting our emotions overwhelm us or sweeping them under the rug, he encourages us to embrace uncomfortable feelings. If we listen close enough, our emotions carry valuable wisdom and guidance. Only when we allow ourselves to feel the fullness of our emotions can we start healing.

Tune in to the full episode to learn how you can find meaning in grieving a loss.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

Learn to define your circle of control after going through a loss.
Find wisdom and guidance as you go through grieving a loss.
Discover the three things you need to do to deal with grief healthily.

Resources

Connect with Henry: Website | Instagram | Youtube | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn
MakeItHappen.Life
Making It Happen podcast
Henry Ammar’s TED Talk: Freedom From Fear
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer
Let It Go by James Bay
Get the help you need with BetterHelp. Use my discount code “loved” to get 10% off on your first month.
I’ve had the privilege of talking to Henry Ammar before on Radically Loved Radio. Check out our conversations here:
- Episode 53: Radically Guided
- Episode 95: Radically Invested
- Episode 241: Life Lessons
- Episode 353: Adapting to Change
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Episode Highlights

On Grieving a Loss

Remember that we all go through grieving a loss. As you relate with others, you understand that you will get better.
When we go through grieving a loss, we tend to isolate ourselves and feel as if our sadness will last forever. But loss can also be a catalyst for growth.
Henry shared how several deaths in his family taught him to approach life differently.
When his mother was diagnosed with cancer, he made a conscious choice to deal with grief healthily. He chose to focus on what he could control and how he showed up for his mother during her last days.
There are healthy ways to work through grief and come out the other end.

The Intensity of Grieving a Loss

When you’re grieving, it helps to have a safe space of connection.
When we experience trauma, we react not only to the situation but also to past traumas that haven't healed.
It’s easy to block these intense emotions. But remember that feeling is part of healing.

Healing by Listening to Your Emotions

Emotional regulation is not about ignoring your feelings or letting them swallow you whole.
It means embracing the depth of your feelings with intention, compassion, and love.
Once you tune into your emotions, the next step is to get honest with yourself and ask, “What do I need to heal? What meaning can I give to this situation?”
Instead of letting your emotions take over, let them guide you. Become friends with them.
True healing doesn't mean you forget. It's giving new meaning to the situation, which will allow you to move forward with purpose and honor the memory of the one you lost.

Riding the Emotional Wave

Henry identifies three things that can help you along your healing journey.
First, find a support system that gives you the space to grieve. Don't isolate yourself, but also recognize and acknowledge if you need time alone.
Second, be lovingly honest with yourself. Make peace with the fact that there are things outside of your control. Let your emotions serve as guideposts.
Lastly, find a strong “why,” a reason to move forward and live on.
Grief should not make you hard nor weak. Like a tea bag in boiling water, it’s possible to come out of this experience stronger and wiser.

The Importance of Love

True healing cannot occur without love, so do not put up walls around your heart.
As you think about the person or pet you’ve lost, you can feel their presence through the love you shared.
We all go through grieving a loss differently. Whatever you’re feeling is valid.
Just remember, don’t close yourself off from love because of fear.
Commit to having magic moments and to being mindful and intentional about not closing your heart.

Radical Love

For Henry, the supreme ethic of life is love. It’s who we are and who we ought to become.
Don’t let the death of a loved one mean the death of the love inside you.
Death does not just take something or someone away; it also gives meaning.
Instead of going through the motions, learn to love with all your heart and appreciate the here and now. In life, you have a choice to make the best out of your limited time.
Whether it’s yoga, mindfulness, or mediation, find something that allows you to move past grief and choose life every day.

5 Powerful Quotes from this Episode

[26:37] “Co-regulation is a real thing, like regulating our emotions and it's not hiding it. It's not ignoring it. It's not allowing it to take over. It's lovingly looking at it with an intention as if it is a child crying out for help and you embrace with compassion and love.”

[32:26] “I'm not going to become enslaved by my emotions or let my emotions dictate me. I'm gonna let them counsel me and I think there's beauty in allowing our emotions, becoming friends with them instead of getting upset that they're there.”

[44:04] “I couldn't control the situation…I knew the only thing I could control is the meaning I'm giving my life going forward.”

[47:28] “Do not build a wall to love… I would much rather experience love in my life and lose it than isolate my heart from experiencing these moments again and creating magic moments in my life. So instead of building a wall, I committed to making magic moments more regularly.”

[55:17] “I think the supreme ethic of life is love. It's who we're becoming. It’s who we are, right, but peeling the layers off and stepping into that love for ourselves, love for others. And I think I didn't want the death of those I love, become the death of the love inside of me and the death of who I am.”

About Henry

Henry Ammar is the founder and CEO of MakeItHappen.Life, where he delivers inspiring content and shares empowering experiences to help people lead confident and fulfilling lives. Henry is also the host of the “Making It Happen” podcast, where he provides real-world insights aimed at creating an empowered life that you can wake up excited for.

In his professional music career, Henry performed on a Grammy Award-winning album and shared the stage with music legends. But it was in leadership and coaching that Henry found his true calling. Today, he leverages his success in music and business to empower individuals, businesses, and communities.

To learn more about Henry, visit his website or connect with him on Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.