Episode 342 | Trust Your Instincts and Cut Toxic People from Your Life with Amberly Lago

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Trigger warning: This episode contains topics involving sexual abuse, which may be distressing for some. If you need professional help, call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area. Alternatively, you can chat with a trained staff member online through online.rainn.org.

Have you ever struggled to get out of a toxic relationship? Cutting people off is sometimes necessary for you to live your best life or save yourself. However, ending relationships isn't always that easy — people are bound to get hurt. The decision becomes even harder when you don't know how to trust your instincts. If you can't listen to your gut, you might end up justifying a toxic person's place in your life.

In this episode, Amberly Lago joins us to talk about why you should trust your instincts, setting healthy boundaries, and leaving toxic situations. She also shares her traumatic experience of being sexually abused by her stepfather and her journey toward healing.

If you want to learn to trust your instincts and break free from toxic relationships, then this episode is for you.

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Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

Discover tips on how to save relationships by setting healthy boundaries.
Learn how to trust your instincts to leave toxic relationships.
Find out how Amberly recovered from a history of sexual abuse and turned tragedy into triumph.

Resources

Know more about Amberly’s inspiring journey in her book, True Grit and Grace: Turning Tragedy Into Triumph. Get it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.
Watch Amberly’s interview on NBC’s Megyn Kelly TODAY Show.
Books by Dr. Brené Brown and Dr. Wayne Dyer
True Grit and Grace Podcast
Connect with Amberly: Website | Email | Instagram | LinkedIn | 818-214-7378
Create a daily meditation ritual in just seven days! Download BUILD YOUR DAILY MEDITATION RITUAL and other freebies at RadicallyLoved.com!
FREE Podcast Action Guide! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Enter your email below and I’ll send it right away!

Episode Highlights

Setting Healthy Boundaries

One simple tip to know if you’re in a healthy, loving, and giving relationship is to assess your reaction when their name pops up on your phone.
Your head will try to tell you different things, but your gut never lies.
Amberly believes that honest communication coupled with knowing and sticking to your values makes it easier to end toxic relationships.

Trust Your Instincts

Being raised Catholic in the Bible Belt, Amberly was taught to obey the rules.
Coupled with her stepfather’s sexual abuse, she found it difficult to trust her gut at a young age.
She also learned to pretend that everything’s okay.
Even today, Amberly is still learning to listen to her gut.
We should tell children, “trust your instincts,” so they know to trust their gut about some people or situations.

Amberly’s Traumatic Experience

Amberly was eight years old when her stepfather started sexually abusing her.
Her stepfather threatened to kill Amberly’s mother if she told her about it.
She told her father what was happening when she was thirteen; he didn’t do anything.
It was then that Amberly realized that she has no choice but to fend for herself.
Listen to the full episode to know more about Amberly’s difficult past and her journey to recovery.

The Years Following Amberly’s Experience

Amberly got into an extremely abusive relationship.
Amberly told him about her history of abuse, and he called her mother.
It was only during this time that Amberly’s mother knew about the abuse.
Amberly finally went to a therapist. It was there that she realized that running from her experience was her coping mechanism.
She’s been running from her trauma until she started writing her book. She identified writing as one of the most healing things she’s ever done.

On Writing the Book About Her Life

A lot of people have thanked Amberly for writing her book. It shone a light on what other people have experienced too.
Amberly wrote her entire book by hand at first. She wrote everything and told herself that she would just take some stuff out later.
Typing her book up with a computer was cathartic.
Amberly encourages people who want to write a book to start writing.
Listen to the full episode to find out how Amberly’s book became a success.

How Amberly Feels Radically Loved

Amberly feels radically loved by God.
She values her connection with her higher power.
Through this connection, she never feels alone.
Instead, she feels supported.
She also feels radically loved through her beautiful family and friends.

5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode

[10:03] “Communication, as hard as it is, always feels better when you're done just saying how you feel and being truthful in the situation and getting it over with.”

[25:10] “And it’s really up to us to choose what we're going to do with our life no matter what our circumstances are. We don't have to walk with our head held down. We don't have to let that shame weigh us down.”

[26:04] “A lot of times you feel like you're the only one going through that horrible experience. But then you realize there are so many people who have been through something so similar, and you're not alone. And I think that helps too—knowing you’re not alone.”

[35:40] “So if somebody like me, who didn't even know how to attach a picture to an email like five years ago, can write and publish a book and get on The Today Show, I'm telling you—anything is possible. So write your book. Here’s your sign; do it.”

[40:53] “I feel like love is just the most powerful thing in the world. It really is the most powerful thing in the world, and it allows us to heal and grow and connect.”

About Amberly

Amberly Lago is a health coach and keynote speaker. In May 2010, she suffered severe injuries from a motorcycling accident that needed 34 surgeries to save her leg from amputation. By sharing her life experiences and proven strategies, she inspires people to move through life with grit, motivation, and resilience.

Amberly is a bestselling author of the book, True Grit and Grace: Turning Tragedy Into Triumph. She has been featured on TV shows such as NBC’s TODAY Show, The Doctors, Hallmark, and Good Morning Lalaland. She also hosts her podcast, True Grit and Grace Podcast.

If you want to know more about Amberly, you can visit her website or follow her on Instagram and LinkedIn. You can also reach out to her via email or text her at 818-214-7378.