Episode 291 | Setting Boundaries for a Smooth-Sailing Life with Melissa Urban
Smooth Sail Life Melissa
Staying at home gives you all the time in the world to succumb to your anxiety and fears. Not setting boundaries against these thoughts can have a significant impact on your mental health and overall well-being while in social isolation.
In this episode, Melissa Urban, a well-respected health and fitness expert and the CEO of Whole30, discusses the significance of having and consistently practicing a routine. She also talks about her journey to recovery and the impact of setting boundaries for yourself.
Make sure to tune in to the podcast to discover ways to help you relieve your anxiety and fear during this challenging time.
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Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Learn the impact of routines and why you should have them.
Discover the significance of setting boundaries and asking for help.
How does Melissa Urban feel radically loved? Find out toward the end of the episode.
Resources
Whole30 books by Melissa Urban
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Episode Highlights
Melissa's Life During the Pandemic
Melissa and her family started self-quarantine around March 10, way before the state of Utah set up its recommendations and policies.
She has also been struggling with her mental health on and off because of social isolation.
She continues to hold on to her gratitude despite feeling grief and thinking things will not be as they once were.
Her quarantine life has become similar to her regular days because she has been consistently practicing her morning routine.
The Importance of Routines
Having a ritual or routine takes a long time and a massive amount of patience and commitment.
Routines need consistent practice to get the hang of it. These help you in setting boundaries and grounding yourself.
She practices two routines—her morning routine and pre-bed routine—allowing her to have flexibility in the middle of her day.
Maintaining these routines have helped her mental health.
Listen to the full episode to know more about Melissa’s routines!
The Purpose of Cold Showers
Many people have been telling her to try out cold therapy to be able to function and focus properly.
Cold showers help in boosting the immune system and gives you the energy to navigate through stressful situations.
Singing in the shower also helps in stimulating the vagus nerve, thus, reducing stress.
Listen to the podcast and discover more benefits of cold therapy!
The Impact of Having a Support System
During this challenging time, social media has become a great asset to connecting with other people, especially those who are far away from you.
Even though Melissa has recovered for about 20 years now, she still gets thoughts about her past addictive behaviors.
Speak about your anxiety and have someone accountable for your fears, thoughts, and behaviors.
Join us and learn how you can also develop a reliable support system.
Melissa's Biggest Challenge Amidst the Pandemic
Her biggest challenge is setting and holding boundaries with herself and the people around her.
Women tend to carry the bulk of household and educational responsibilities on their own. There tends to be a mentality forced upon us that we need to be able to do it all.
Have conversations about setting boundaries and figure out how you can navigate through this time.
The Importance of Asking for Help
Asking for help is the purest form of self-care and gift to others.
It is easy to offer help, but when it comes to ourselves, we always think we are an exception to that rule.
Women easily get caught up in the martyr complex, thus preventing them from setting boundaries.
Take time to reassess what you feel and whether you want what you are doing at the moment.
Be more clear about what you say yes and no to, and do not automatically say no to people.
Maintaining Relationships and Communication During the Pandemic
Melissa and her partner have realized that they are a team, and they are in this together.
She emphasizes the significance of being deliberate with your communication.
Your partner is not a mind reader, so be specific about what you want.
Melissa's Big Vision This Year
She has no other vision at this point other than for her and her team to survive this challenging time.
Melissa also wants to prioritize personal growth and to work in her capacity.
She also hopes she could continue to become more discerning about what she says yes and no to.
How Does Melissa Feel Radically Loved?
Practicing meditation every morning gives her enough space and time to think about everything she is grateful for.
She also practices encouraging people and sharing love with the people around her.
5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode
“And I have discovered that as long as I have those two things (morning and pre-bed routines), the middle of my day can be a complete shit show. And I’m okay because I started the day on my terms, and I ended the day on my terms.”
“My cold shower in the morning is better than any cup of coffee, better than any antidepressant I was ever on. It’s like an instant mood and energy elevator for me.”
“It (routines and morning cold showers) gives me the capacity to handle stress in other areas of my life because it reinforces the idea that it’s not about what's happening to me. It is how I am choosing to respond to what's happening to me.”
“I think we have so many opportunities to accept help from people who we don't even have to ask—they're already offering. And I feel like accepting help is the freest and easiest form of self-care.”
On communicating with your partners: “If you don't ask for what you want—they're not mind readers—and if you don't get it, there's a really good chance that you're going to end up, you know, blowing up with everyone stuck at home.”
About Melissa
Melissa Urban is a six-time New York Times best-selling author and the co-founder and CEO of the Whole30 Program. Through Whole30, she has given over 150 health and nutrition seminars around the world. Melissa ranked #19 on Greatist's Top 100 Most Influential People in Health and Fitness in 2018.
Before becoming a well-respected health and fitness expert, Melissa struggled with drug addiction in her early college years. It was after going through rehab that she was able to begin a new chapter of her life. While working full-time at an insurance company, she became a certified sports nutritionist and published her first book, The Whole30, in 2015.
Curious about Melissa’s work and the Whole30 Program? Check out their website. You may reach out to her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
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To feeling radically loved,
Rosie