Emotional Processing: Talk to Yourself Out Loud with Vasavi Kumar
In today's hectic, always-on-the-go world, we seldom stop to process our emotions. It becomes a cycle of experiencing something, tamping down emotions related to it, and powering through. But we'll explode eventually, harming our loved ones and ourselves. And when we need support, we typically rely on other people. What if we could rely on and talk to ourselves for emotional processing in addition to our communities and safe spaces?
In today's episode, Vasavi Kumar lets us in on the importance of talking to ourselves out loud. She shares her insights on what loving the sound of our voice can do for our lives. Vasavi also talks about some tips to help you start talking to yourself for emotional processing. Lastly, she highlights how we can get to know ourselves deeper and better by talking to ourselves.
Do you want to learn more about yourself, how you feel, and how you can be kinder to yourself? Then this episode is for you!
Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Find out how emotional processing helps you know when to walk away and when to stay
Discover the importance of loving your voice and talking to yourself out loud
Learn why you should foster your passions — even if everyone says they’re silly
Resources:
Check out Vasavi’s book: SAY IT OUT LOUD: Using the Power of Your Voice to Listen to Your Deepest Thoughts and Courageously Pursue Your Dreams
BOLD VOICE, a training program to help you refine your voice with Vasavi
Episode Highlights
[03:47] Knowing When to Walk Away vs. When to Hold On
Vasavi used to be a coach and therapist. However, after publishing her book, she found that it was not for her anymore.
Vasavi likes to sleep on things to give herself time for emotional processing. She can decide later.
She listens to her mind and body to know when she wants to stop doing something. But it doesn’t mean she jumps from thing to thing instantly. She always thinks about it first.
Vasavi believes we should listen to this part of ourselves that tells us when it doesn’t want to do something anymore.
You can walk away from something that doesn’t feel right. However, it’s important to discern between needing to leave or needing to do something that makes you happy first.
[09:26] “If it's starting to feel like a grind and if it's starting to feel intolerable, that doesn't necessarily mean you quit it. That means you just need a different perspective.” - Vasavi
[10:56] Shifting from “Work Mode” to “Relaxation Mode”
Vasavi took the time to live in Playa del Carmen after publishing her book, but it was not an instant decision. She planned a lot for the trip.
The amount of relaxation felt uncomfortable for her at some point, but she got over that and allowed herself to relax.
Vasavi met new people, found local spots, and discovered her relaxed self. She believes everyone should meet this side of themselves.
[15:00] The Importance of Talking to Yourself Out Loud
Vasavi highlights that talking to yourself out loud will help with emotional processing. Talking out louds help purge and release shame from your body.
We often feel we must talk to someone for support and help processing our emotions. But people get busy sometimes. However, you are a person yourself.
Vasavi encourages having a community and safe spaces. But she also emphasizes that you are a person, and you can talk to yourself.
Saying things out loud helps you distinguish what’s true and not. It helps you get to know yourself and understand your emotions.
[17:12] “When you say it out loud, you can transcend that ego viewpoint and you can ask yourself, is this really true? Or do I want to talk to myself this way? This is really about shaping your inner dialogue so that you have a safe place inside of your head.” - Vasavi
[17:30] Getting Comfortable with Hearing Ourselves Talk Out Loud
Vasavi validates that it’s normal to feel weird hearing your own voice out loud.
However, she aims to make people love the sound of their voice to make way for the beautiful art and poetry inside each person.
Vasavi highlights that your story and message can help someone suffering in silence.
She believes that talking out loud will open you up to opportunities and connections.
[18:34] “If you started to communicate what you care about, you could really start helping more people. Because what is the point of this life if you're not paying it forward, if you're not helping other people? And our voice is a great vehicle for self-expression and for healing.” - Vasavi
[21:05] Changing the Narrative of Negative Self-Talk
The first step is to feel how you feel, honor and acknowledge your feelings.
Next, Vasavi encourages validating your emotions. Part of emotional processing is learning to probe deeper into why you feel a certain way.
Vasavi also encourages being kinder to yourself and paying attention to how you speak to yourself.
[23:51] “We need to allow ourselves to feel how we feel, unedited, unfiltered. Witness that, be with ourselves through that, and then we can, from a clearer headspace, decide what are we going to do next.” - Vasavi
[24:30] Talking to Yourself Every Day
Vasavi encourages setting a timer on your phone as a reminder to check up on yourself.
Healthy emotional processings focuses on how you’re feeling. Ask yourself if you’re feeling happy, loved, or other emotions.
Vasavi also suggests talking out loud first thing in the morning.
She believes that acknowledging something you’re thankful for when you wake up is a beautiful way to hear the sound of your voice.
[27:44] Getting in Trouble for Being Too Passionate
Vasavi was passionate, even as a child. The adults in her life would tell her to stop being too excited, that it was disruptive.
Vasavi used to get in trouble for being too passionate, talking too much, and doing too much. She has refined that part of herself but won't let those parts die.
She laments why it’s cool to be chill because if something excites her, she wants to show it.
Vasavi suggests that parents should find an outlet for their kid’s excitement. They shouldn’t shut that excitement down; encourage it instead.
[33:45] “It should be a crime for you to shut that part of your kid down because that is literally God's grace that's been given to them; like that's their special sauce.” - Vasavi
[35:42] Breaking the Cycle of Self-Suppression
Vasavi states you can start breaking the cycle of self-suppression by surrounding yourself with people who are also committed to self-expression.
You don't have to find your voice because it's already there; you've been using it the entire time.
Vasavi highlights that what you have to do is discover what you want to sound like.
You have to discover the different parts of yourself and practice speaking how you want to sound.
[40:17] Infusing Fun in Our Interactions
Vasavi encourages asking yourself how to infuse fun and excitement into your conversations.
She highlights that we don’t live in this world alone, and it will always be a great thing to enjoy our interactions.
When you do this, you allow your childlike, innocent part to shine through. Vasavi believes this part of ourselves is the life source of everything we bring to the world.
[42:10] How Vasavi Feels Radically Loved
Vasavi feels radically loved when someone says they appreciate the way she thinks.
She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 19. And she highlighted how isolating a diagnosis like that is because people can be judgemental about it.
On the other hand, Vasavi radically loves showing others the best parts of themselves. She wants to be a loving mirror to show people who they are and can be.
About Vasavi
Vasavi Kumar is a first-generation Indian-American who was a licensed life coach and therapist for 11 years. She has since moved forward from that after successfully publishing her book, SAY IT OUT LOUD. With her dual master’s degrees, she strives to help people reach their full potential.
If you want to connect with Vasavi, check out her website or talk to her on LinkedIn and Instagram.
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To feeling radically loved,
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