Good Inside: Raising Kids with Empathy and Validation with Dr. Becky Kennedy

Taking care of ourselves and our own wellbeing is already difficult. But what more if you have to nurture another human being’s growth as well? As we all know, parenthood is no walk in the park. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, and empathy to raise kids who will become well-functioning adults later on. In this process, you’ll need all the resources and support that can add moments of joy even in the most challenging moments of parenthood.

In this episode, Rosie speaks with Dr. Becky Kennedy about the Good Inside approach to parenting. Dr. Becky lays down crucial advice on how to help children learn emotion regulation skills. Here, she talks about the importance of validating children's feelings and building up the skills they need to navigate adulthood later on. Finally, she highlights the benefits of community support in traversing through every step of parenthood.

If you want to know how to become the parent you want to be, this episode is for you!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

Discover the key to helping kids learn emotion regulation skills.
Learn how to use the Good Inside Framework in disciplining your child.
Find out the impact of having community support in navigating parenthood.

Resources

Connect with and learn more about Dr. Becky Kennedy: Website | Instagram | Thursday Email
Become a member of the Good Inside community!
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy
Good Inside: Podcast | Facebook | Twitter | TikTok
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Episode Highlights

[03:07] The Millennial Parenting Whisperer

The Good Inside approach is the idea of multiple things being true at the same time in the parenthood lens.
Parenting is hard, but resources and support can make things easier.
Millennial parenting speaks to parents’ eagerness for an approach that also considers their needs, growth, and development.
It’s about having boundaries while showing up how you want for your kids.

[05:54] Training to Be a Parent

Learning how to be a parent can limit harm to yourself and others while also helping you grow in non-parenting areas.
Shift the perspective from “need” to “deserve” and “training” to “resources.”
Parents, especially women, believe they’re supposed to know how to do parenting.
Seeking resources for parenting shows respect and value for yourself.

[06:13] Becky: “Through parenting, you can learn so much about yourself. You can grow so much. You have the opportunity to work on so many of the things that are going to help you in your non-parenting areas as well.” - Click Here To Tweet This

[09:54] Learning Emotion Regulation Skills

Children hit and take toys because they’re learning how to manage feelings and urges.
Punishing children might lead them to feel alone and ashamed.
Meanwhile, if you just allow children to embrace their feelings without being a sturdy leader, they will experience feelings as overpowering and scary.
We need a new system for parents, adults, and children to learn emotion regulation.

[12:49] Helping Children Learn Emotion Regulation Skills

Children need to develop emotion regulation skills at a young age.
Children learn how to regulate their emotions mostly through absorbing the way we respond to their emotions.
Being responsive and validating a child’s experience helps them regulate their emotions.
Tune in to the full episode to hear Dr. Becky’s metaphor about swimming for teaching emotion regulation skills to kids!

[14:37] Becky: “What they’re really looking for is the message that they’re safe and they’re loved. That’s what helps us all regulate our own feelings at the end of the day. So, what does that mean? It means being responsive to a child. It means validating a child’s experience.” - Click Here To Tweet This

[19:49] Parenting with a Long-Term Mindset

[20:36] Becky: “Independence is born from dependence. Independence comes from the safety of dependence. We feel more comfortable being independent—more confident—as we get older if we have internalized that we have a secure base to come home to.” - Click Here To Tweet This

Parents must understand what children need at the moment and the skills they need to build to be functioning adults.
Don’t spoil your baby.
Children feel more comfortable being independent if they know they have a secure base to come home to.
Extend boundaries, validation, and empathy to your child.

[22:48] Becky: “I don't think there’s anything more confidence-inspiring to anyone at any age than the idea of when something bad happens, I have someone in my life who will understand and be there for me.” - Click Here To Tweet This

[24:21] Discipline in Parenting

Mindset is more important than strategy.
Don’t look at your child as the problem. Instead, look at them like you’re on the same team against a problem.
Determine your child’s frustration tolerance.
See your child as good inside and empathize with them instead of blaming them.
Embody your authority by stepping in, being a leader, and building emotion regulation rather than giving punishments and timeouts.

[24:54] Becky: “We have to look at our kid like we are in the same team as our kid against a problem rather than looking at your kid as a problem.” - Click Here To Tweet This

[31:33] Seeking Support as a Parent

When you become a parent, you need a community that will support you.
Support allows you to take on challenging situations with moments of joy rather than seeing them as impossible.

About Dr. Becky

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and the founder of the breakthrough parenting community Good Inside. She is named by TIME Magazine as the Millennial Parenting Whisperer. Dr. Becky specializes in rethinking the framework of how parents raise their children by providing simple, actionable strategies they can use in their homes. Her goal is to empower parents to feel more prepared to navigate the various challenges of parenting.

If you want to connect with Dr. Becky, visit Good Inside’s website. You can also reach out to her on Instagram or subscribe to her Thursday Email.