How to Stop the Bleeding in a Crisis with Zahra Heydari

When we’re hurt and bleeding, one of the best things to do is wash the wound, bandage it, and let it heal. However, wounds in our hearts don’t always heal easily. Many people tend to ignore it or cover it up, thinking it will go away. But they never do. Stopping the bleeding and letting yourself heal require treatment beyond a quick bandaid. It needs your love, care, and awareness that healing can only come from yourself.

Zahra Heydari, a therapist and author, discovered for herself how to heal and help others heal. In this episode of Radically Loved, she joins us to talk about her own crises that she had to overcome. Zahra dives into her book, Stop the Bleeding, and shares important self-care tools and techniques that anyone can use to treat their wounds. 

Join us on this episode to learn for yourself how you can give yourself the careful love and treatment you deserve to heal.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: 

  1. Find out what your body might be trying to tell you about your trauma.

  2. Learn and try simple coping skills and techniques that you can use anywhere at any time.

  3. Let your inner child come out! Discover how you can start caring more for yourself.

Resources

    Episode Highlights

    [02:30] Zahra Overcoming Her Crises

    • Zahra has a book called The Breakthrough. It was her form of journal writing when she was going through a personal crisis.

    • She wrote Stop the Bleedin during the COVID pandemic as a crisis intervention for the readers. 

    • At a young age, Zahra experienced, death, loss, and war. One of her biggest crises was being with her abusive ex-husband.

    • Her struggles led to her passion to become a therapist and help more people.

    [03:59] “I guess the reason I wrote this book is to let every single human being know that they are not alone whatever they're going through. There is some light that is going to come into them through all these pieces that are being broken in their beautiful hearts” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [05:01] Learning to Stop the Bleeding

    • Rosie describes Zahra as someone who leads with her heart. For Zahra, it’s only when actions are from the heart that things will work out.

    • Her book reminds the readers that no matter their stories, they are not alone.

    • One thing you can learn from the book is to accept and acknowledge the pain.

    • Another thing you can pick up from reading is the different basic coping skills and tools anyone can do at any time.

    [08:05] Living With Trauma

    • People are often used to ignoring their trauma. It can manifest in negative behaviors and emotions.

    • Zahra stayed in an abusive relationship for years. She grew up in a generation that found this normal.

    • You can know you have ancestral trauma by listening to your body. These messages, in the form of physical and emotional feelings, ask you to stop and take action.

    • Remember that you own your story. Many things may be out of your control, but you can change yourself.

    [11:25] “We all have our own stories, we just need to own them and accept the facts. We cannot change our parents. We cannot change our environment. But we could change ourselves.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [12:19] Finding the Right Support

    • Acknowledge when something’s not working for you anymore including your community.

    • You can find resources everywhere. Find your own community with people following the same path.

    [13:51] “Because believe me in every corner we could find a community. The community is very healing. And it's okay to outgrow our dysfunctional family and friends. It's okay. That's called growth.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [15:21] What You Can Do

    • Breathwork is the number one coping skill you can use whenever and wherever.

    • Journaling can create space for you to meet your future self. You can also move your body to create stability for your nervous system.

    • Having triggers are normal. They can teach you many things. Look at the source of the trigger and see if they have value to you.

    • If you see value in them, take your time to calm down and remember that it’s not about you. However, if they hold no value, dismiss them and let go of their words and actions.

    • At the end of the day, be aware and take responsibility for your own actions.

    [21:03] Breaking the Pattern of Self-Abuse

    • People are very capable of hurting themselves. Self-abuse is being aware of the reality and hurt something can bring and still doing it.

    • Notice your patterns and love yourself through them. Approaching them with love and compassion can break the pattern.

    • Communicate with your inner child. Treat yourself with kindness, love, and wisdom as you would a child.

    • Do things that create moments of self-care and self-love.

    [22:43] “It's okay to talk to yourself like a best friend. That is your inner child, your beautiful little child inside of you that maybe wanted a lot of candy and never got it as a little girl.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [27:19] Love Language of Prayer

    • There is no pressure to pray. Do what works for you.

    • Prayer is a language of love. It’s your way of connecting to your source.

    • For Zahra, prayer is her support. It’s a way to feel peace, comfort, and love in the deepest parts of you.

    [27:37] “Prayer is about your connection to a source. The source could be trees, could be nature, could be Mother Earth, could be something that is just a tiny bit bigger than you. Prayer could be looking at your dog's eyes and seeing the way they look. They look at you with love in their eyes.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    About Zahra

    Zahra Heydari is an experienced coach helping others care for their mental health, have crisis intervention, and tackle relationship issues. With 14 years of experience, she empowers her clients no matter where they are in their journey to live their best life. 

    Zahra is an author who takes inspiration from overcoming her own crisis in life. She wrote The Breakthrough which recounts her journey of growth and finding independence. Zahra recently published her second book, Stop the Bleeding. There she shares stories of emotional wounds and how you can heal from them.

    Connect with Zahra on her website and Instagram to find out more about her work.

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    Thanks for listening! 

    To feeling radically loved,

    Rosie

    Rosie AcostaLatinx, Teacher, Hispanic Meditation Teacher, BIPOC Meditation Teacher, BIPOC Mindfulness Teacher