How Hope Helps You Through Challenges with Abi Morgan

Life as we know it can be upturned in the blink of an eye. We’ve seen this during the pandemic, not only did the world change entirely and people have also lost so much. For Abi Morgan, her life had been normal up until her husband suffered from seizures and had to be placed in a coma. His recovery had a rocky start and Abi faced the challenge of caring for a loved one who no longer recognizes her.

In this episode, Abi Morgan joins us to discuss her memoir, This is Not a Pity Memoir and how she was able to cope and find strength during her husband’s rehabilitation. She shares the importance of having things to lean into, for her, it was her family and writing. Lastly, Abi reminds everyone facing a similar situation of the importance of taking care of yourself. 

Don’t miss this episode and be inspired by Abi’s story!

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: 

  1. Discover the behind-the-scenes of Abi’s memoir, This is Not a Pity Memoir. 

  2. Be inspired by Abi’s tenacity and how she was able to cope with her difficult experience. 

  3. Understand that time is limited and this is why we need to live and enjoy every moment. 

Resources

    Episode Highlights

    [01:26] Brief Synopsis of This is Not a Pity Memoir 

    • Abi returned home one day and found her husband collapsed on the bathroom floor. 

    • He had experienced a series of seizures and needed to be placed in a medically induced coma.

    • He gained consciousness after six months and slowly reconnected with friends and family. However, he believed Abi was an imposter.  

    [02:30] How the Memoir Came to Be 

    • Although the book is mainly about Abi’s husband, Jacob, struggling with his medical condition, the book is really about love and marriage. 

    • Abi shares the first conversation they both had. She had been hoping to make a film about Ruth Picardie’s memoir. 

    [05:40] How to Find Your Spark 

    • Abi shares that she always looks for a dog whistle in every pitch and story. The dog whistle is any moment that profoundly hits you to your core. 

    • In writing the memoir, she wanted to make it interesting and say something she didn’t realise. 

    • Besides thinking of the value readers can take from the memoir, Abi also used the writing process as a means to hold onto her mental health. 

    • In the full episode, Abi shares the key moment of realizing that the problem wasn’t that Jacob didn’t know who she was, it was he didn’t know who he was. 

    • The memoir shares how Abi and Jacob were able to reconfigure and reassess their new relationship. 

    [12:44] “..it's about any relationship that is hit by an extraordinary celtic thunderbolt and about the journey to survive it and in many ways, reconvene and reconfigure and reassess and come to terms with a new kind of relationship.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [13:15] How Abi Coped with Her Experience

    • Even though the experience was distressing, Abi always found humour in everything. 

    • She also shares finding strength through her two children. 

    • Initially, Abi wanted to bring back the Jacob she knew. Eventually, her mission changed to bring back the person she admired and loved. 

    • While Jacob was in rehabilitation, Abi discovered that she had developed stage three breast cancer. 

    • This cancer diagnosis helped Jacob start to realize who Abi really was. 

    [19:23] How Abi Would Do Things Differently

    • Abi had a lot of help and support from her and Jacob’s family. 

    • For Abi, writing is both a sanctuary and a way for her to express herself. Fortunately, it also helped her earn money especially since the rehabilitation was expensive. 

    • If Abi could do things differently, she would have given herself more of an out by supporting herself and others more. 

    [23:57] “I do understand the passion and the intensity of wanting to save someone that you will just throw yourself on top of them. What I've come to realize is that when your own mortality comes into question, you also have to preserve and reserve your own strength in order to keep yourself going through that.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [26:05] How Abi’s Relationships Changed 

    [27:06] “I’'ve dealt with deadlines my whole life…I think I generate adrenaline with deadlines, but the greatest deadline..the ultimate mortality I had, I had taken no regard for that. [On a]...profound level, I try and recognize that life has its limits, and yet the experience where we live, it should not. And so I really try and live in the moment.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    • Abi used to take life for granted and this experience taught her to live in the moment. 

    • When you’re faced with your morality, no one ever thinks they needed to work more. Everyone looks back to the times shared with loved ones. 

    [28:01] “You do feel infinitely grateful for the Christmases and the crazy holidays, and the significant conversations and those beautiful dinners and those moments, those simple moments when you walk the dog together. Those are the things that you hold on to and those are the things I tried to fill my life with.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [28:37] “It's okay, you've lost everything…and as hard as this experience is, perhaps if you find a way to communicate and talk and express this experience in some way, it may release you and it may transport you and it may help you survive this experience.” - Click Here To Tweet This

    [29:25] What Abi is Working On 

    • Abi is currently writing a Netflix show set in 1980s New York about a puppeteer. 

    • The story is about fatherhood, childhood, and identity. 

    • Abi wants to make a film on the book someday. The memoir ended with the start of Jacob’s recovery, and Abi wants to share more of his recovery and his perspective. 

    About Abi

    Abi Morgan is a playwright and screenwriter. Her plays include Skinned, Sleeping Around, Splendour (Paines Plough), Tiny Dynamite (Traverse), Tender (Hampstead Theatre), Fugee (National Theatre), 27 (National Theatre of Scotland), Love Song (Frantic Assembly), and The Mistress Contract (Royal Court Theatre). Her television work includes My Fragile Heart, Murder, Sex Traffic, Tsunami – The Aftermath, White Girl, Royal Wedding, Birdsong, The Hour, River and The Split. Her film writing credits include Brick Lane, Iron Lady, Shame, The Invisible Woman, and Suffragette. She has several films currently in development and has won a number of awards, including Baftas and an Emmy for her film and TV work. 

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    To feeling radically loved,

    Rosie

    Rosie AcostaSpanish Speaking Meditation Teacher, Mexican American Teacher, First Gen Mexican American, Mindfulness Teacher, Latinx